The start of a school year has so much potential; everything is a new beginning, everyone gets a fresh start. Despite the optimism of all of this newness, there is always a blip on the proverbial radar screen. The event is an open, festering blemish that resurfaces at least twice a year. Most people see it as a dreaded necessity, or an awkward waltz (a hippo dancing with an earthworm). Some describe it as being at their best friend's wedding (she's the bride) and trying to engage the groom's family in small-talk, though you've only just met the guy and all you know is that he, like the rest of his kin, smells like cheese.(Thanks for the idea Fougs!) Still others call it a plague on the planet, a heinous tragedy that will certainly lead to the gouging out of one's own pupils (still in Oedipus Rex). Whatever you call it, most of you will have to endure it at some point in your lives as either the attendee or the attendant. So here's to those of us who actually survive Open House (as the teacher, not the parent). As I was performing the official reenactment of my Fall 2006 Open House experience for Rich, he took the pictures you see above. (I can't move them, I have dial up...shut up.) Take this little test to see if you can determine the order of events. Match the following quotes to the corresponding pictures, then put them in chronological order:

A. "Welcome to AHS! My name is Mrs. Haag and I am excited to have your son/daughter in my English IV class!"
B. "Which period is he in? Uh huh...uh huh...right...uh huh..." (Think, Ginger! Which John is he? Stall one more minute...)"Oh, that kid...Has he been absent...like everyday?"
C. "Oh, you're that kid's parent...Yeah, I know who he is, and so does every assistant principal, OCS teacher, and warden in the county."
D. Delirium sets in...I laugh hysterically because I can't respond rationally to the idea that in 5 short hours, I have to be back at school for the faculty meeting at 7:00 AM after having worked a 13 hour day...And I still have homework to grade... hahahahahahaha! And it's only Monday!!!!hahahahahaha!


How'd you do?
In closing,I lift my glass (of milk...it's Tuesday) to all of you parents and teachers out there who will get to attend an Open House this year. May you, too, survive the awkward torment.