How I ended up like this

10 reasons why my mother is the coolest person in the world:

1. She loves people unconditionally and models such an amazing example of tolerance and temperance for me and the Putz. She has always helped us see that we need to put ourselves in other people's shoes. Of course there is sometimes the "Oh good gravy!" outburst (who says that?) when she is flustered, but she would rather feed people in a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving and visit people who are lonely or sad than participate in any of the other pomp and circumstance that life sometimes blinds us with. Please don't misunderstand; Mom is the first to lead an impromptu baton twirling march around the backyard (sorry about your ankle), but she knows what is most important.

2. She keeps a Ginger drawer at her house and fills it with articles from magazines, newspaper clippings, clothing and shoe catalogues, and other "treasures" that remind her of me or that she knows will be relevant to me. I look forward to pilfering through the Ginger drawer at each visit.

3. She has "Elvis church" on Sunday mornings. As soon as she wakes up, the Elvis gospel CD is on and Mom sings loudly enough that God AND the neighbors can hear it, and she has such a beautiful voice that no one minds. In fact it's contagious!

4. Music has always been a major part of our household, whether it was a holiday (we were usually startled out of our beds with blaring Sousa marches on the morning of the 4th of July, at Christmas time it was usually Jingle Bell Rock, and I've already mentioned Sundays), or just because. Each morning she would wake us with "You Are My Sunshine" and would respond to our cranky morning sour faces (since we woke up to that damn sunshine song) with "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile." At the time, we felt that she was sick and twisted and singing just to torture us, but now I miss it. Every time I see her, she wants to introduce us to a new song she just heard. Hey Mom, remember when we were at Texas Roadhouse and you were telling us about "I Hope You'll Dance" and the song played three times back to back - probably because a management type really liked the song - but we pretended it was a personal message to Putz, Wratch and me? I loved that! Also since I was a budding musician (I was in every music class CHS offered), she tolerated a lot of music practice from me and my friends. Her favorite (and she still mentions this) is when my friend Neal would come over and play "Hey Jude" on the piano. So from Willie Nelson to Chopin, from show tunes to "Save a Horse and Ride a Cowboy," and from to AC/DC to "Do Lord," my mom influences (and sometimes berates us) through music.

5. She has a purse dog, but doesn't groom it like a typical purse dog. The dog's name is Sugar (short for Sugar Plum Fairy) and runs the household, but we love her. There is still much debate over whether she actually trained Sugar to sit on our heads or whether she simply encourages Sugar with her strict and bold discipline of "oh Sugar, no. It's bad manners to sit on people's heads. Rich and Ginger are our friends. Yeah. Come here to me. Who-zha-bebe?"

6. My mom thinks that ruby slippers, feathery fringe, and sparklers can save the world.

7. Mom welcomes all of my friends into her house, even the seriously silly ones.

One of my favorite trips was the one where Fougs and I went on a road trip to visit. Right before we left town, we went to the dollar store and bought fuzzy pink boas and glittering tiaras in Mom's honor and in order to get into the perfect mind set for the visit (which is completely ironic since Fougs and I are more the tree climbing, tomboy, we will verbally kick your ass but only if the other is there for back-up, philosopher types). We wore them the entire 5 1/2 hours it took to get to Lubbock and Mom loved it! She keeps the tiara on her kitchen cabinet. By the way, this was the first time Fougs went to visit Mom. Thanks for being a good sport, Fougs, and a total goofball to match my goofballery, and thanks Mom for welcoming us and for the homemade hot chocolate!

8. Mom makes a damn good margarita.

9. She is hilarious in movies. Mom generally interacts with the film, loudly. She claps during the redemption scenes; she yells "That can't happen!" during the unbelievable or ridiculous parts; she gasps loudly and puts her arm across the person next to her, stranger or no, (like a human seat belt) when something startling happens; and she cries at both the happy and sad moments. (A classic example from when I was a kid is when she cried during The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie because the Footclan (little boys) didn't have mothers to take care of them.) Going to the movies with Mom is quite the experience! (and thanks for always wearing long skirts to the movies so that when Putz or I got cold, you could spread the skirt over us like a blanket)

10. She thinks I can do anything, but she still lets me sit in her lap.

This short list does not do Mom justice, because she is so much more! I didn't even mention the Lady Raiders, The Nutcracker, Harley engines, the fireplace table, the fact that she worries I might be arrested someday (I'll leave you all guessing at that one), that her alias (just in case she needs one) is Monique, or pot roast!

I love you Mom! I'll see you soon!