First of all, I should begin by saying a few things in the name of disclaimer: 1. It's 3:45 in the morning. 2. I took cold medicine last night because I had a sore throat and I refuse to get whatever form of flu-bola is going around. 3. Because I took cold medicine my finger tips are numb - which happens to be a good thing because I shredded them all to ribbons yesterday while working with a particular piece of glass. So typing with numb, shredded fingers is proving a difficult task since it's like using the broad end of a "exposed nerve ending" spatula to hit each key. It's only sort of possible and thank God for the numb! Please excuse the typos. (I should use that excuse all of the time!)
Anyway. I woke up with an angry rage in my gut and needed to spill it here, right now, because I don't think (.) that I can go back to sleep until this bloody mosh pit of hodgepodge rant is out of me.
I realize that when a person is "doped-up" things may seem more circusy than usual, and in my world circusy is very familiar, but don't think I'm exaggerating when I suggest that the world has recently gone ape-shit bonkers. I've been to the dark side and back and very few things surprise me anymore, especially since I taught seventh grade (and I will totally bilk that for all it's worth). But here are some examples of sheer insanity that I ran across yesterday in the news:
1. An art exhibit called "Sweet Jesus"- which portrays a life size chocolate Jesus floating in the air, arms outstretched in the recognizable crucifix position- was not only canceled but was scoffed at, mercilessly put down, and heinously scandalized all because it was done in "bad taste."* The sculpture is naked, and it turns out that Jesus...how do I put this delicately... well, it turns out that Jesus had a PENIS! (gasp! hide the children!).
You would think that the patriarchy would be highlighting this fact and using it to their advantage (even making it bigger) in order to compensate for their own insecurities, or even better they could use that aggressive, "build it for total world domination" masculinity to um, I don't know, drop bombs on Iraq. Oh. Check. OK. Iran then..
But then again, maybe I'm off. Maybe ousting the nude Jesus has nothing to do with genitalia. Maybe the show was canceled because the sculpture was cast in dark chocolate, totally unacceptable for a sculpture of Jesus. After all, wasn't he more of a white chocolate Euro-American wall street republican? Oh wait. .
2. The world (and when I say the world, I mean Japan) is making a new beer out of a very unexpected agricultural product.
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Got milk?
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So as not to step on any one's toes, I'll simply give you this link, which will tell you all you need to know about Bilk (seriously, it's like "bile" mixed with "ick"). I'll simply say that I thought fermented milk was called cottage cheese..
Oh! and think of the marketing! Haley Joel Osment, Lindsey Lohan, or one of the Pitt-Jolie kids sporting a Bilk mustache... Brilliant!
3. Three words: Karl. Rove. Rap.
This has to be one of the scariest things I've ever seen in my entire life i think i'm going to die now because no run on sentence in the entire world could ever erase the picture that is now permanently seared in my brain and there is no comedian on the planet who could ever make it right by making fun of its abomination-ness more than its own abomination-ness so move over gloria estefan we have a new winner of the "things i cannot tolerate" award and now i must go shave my eyeballs and call a priest.
(feeling better..)
Before I woke-up to this post, I had a dream. I dreamed that heaven was surrounded by a salt-water moat filled with all kinds of scary creatures. I dreamed that I was supposed to lie on my back, look up at the irrational orange sky and float to get there. Just float. I was supposed to hope that the the current would get me there without me having to do anything but keep my feet up, so as not to be brought down and held under by the raging currents and creatures beneath the water's surface.
But. As usual, and since I'm me, I decided instead to tread water - to kick and fight and struggle and choke on the salty bilk.
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I want to get there, I really do.
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In the mean time, here is a message to the entire world:
World, unpack your white Nike tennis shoes, tie on that purple cape, and break out the "kool-aid". It's time. Here comes Hale Bop. Let's not miss it this time..
Madness!
And it's back to bed for me.
*Thanks to Christine for the link and for the pun
8 comments:
Oh My God, it's been a crazy week. I still can't believe the outcry over 'My Sweet Lord'. When the Romans crucified someone, that someone was naked. We only add the diaper so we can show it on TV. The sculpture is more accurate than the other images thrown at us. Jesus's exposure and humiliation are important layers of what he went through, and should not be ignored. But the masses don't want to see it; they want to tone down the image - sugar coat it . So that's exactly what the artist has done. The bizarre public response is the perfect example of what the art is trying to convey.
Before you throw yourself out the window (which, if you do, I will do as well), remember the way you felt right after listening to Desmond Tutu a few years ago. People are good. That Jesus sculpture was only a headline on Yahoo!, was only in the news, because enough people recognize the ridiculousness of people who have not even seen a piece of art threatening those who want to display it. Really. People are good.
Hey Fougs,
I know all of that stuff about people being good. No worries.
BUT I was picturing us throwing ourselves out of windows, and it made me laugh really hard because the windows at my house go almost all of the way down to the floor. We'd have sort of a Starsky and Hutch kind of "roll" out of the window going on, since jumping is completely unnecessary.
Or even at school, we only have two floors to contend with. We'd be like the short bus version Thelma and Louise! AND that's why we're friends, you and me!
Oh late night anger! Just makes you want to curl up in front of C-Span to watch the awesome rap sessions while sipping a warm glass of bilk and possibly eating a chocolate Jesus. Such a cozy idea. (Actually, that sounds really entertaining to me.)
PS: Pictures of the paper boat voyage are up.
The more I think of the outcry against the My Sweet Lord sculpture, the madder I get. I can't believe they caved and canceled it. On Easter Sunday and every other day churches the world over are adorned with bloody violent crucifix’s. So the torture and murder of another (perpetrated by man) is perfectly acceptable to display, but the natural genitalia (created by God) is not. It is one more example of typical Puritan American insanity. Any level of violence is acceptable (or even a constitutional right) but any hint of sexuality or even perceived immodesty it condemned with vehemence. And it's just America, not the West. Europe can't understand it any more than I can.
I love the song Out the Window by Violent Femmes. That, btw, is the best song to start a middle of the hot day run with. It's right before Witchi Tai To (Future Pilot Aka) on my workout playlist. Out the Window rocks. Thanks for bringing it to mind.
The Jesus thing made me think of symbolic cannibalism in a whole new light. It used to be lines of women in ugly flower dresses interspersed with men in too tight dockers--all waiting for chalky wafers and too sugary juice. Now it's Homer with chocolate and drool all over his face: Hmmm, Jesus. Too bad they chickened out with the show.
Let me just say that as art is subjective, it's really open to interpretation. Who knows what the artist was feeling at the time he created "My Sweet Lord." But I do know this: no one causes an uproar at the iconic bunnies cast in chocolate and mass-produced each year. At least the artist had the spirit of the season in mind... Love you, Ginger! You are amazing and always give me something to think about.
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