Letters for April 7: Read this!!

To whom this should concern,
(read: to all of you!)

Recently, I have had to do a lot of "correcting" in my classroom regarding insensitive racist/sexist/intolerant statements. For example, and this may offend some of you, I am hearing statements like this:

"Oh my God, that kid is such a Jew!"
For those of you who are not in the know, this is not a flattering statement and is akin to saying, "Oh my God, that kid is such an asshole!"
And the horrible part is that the kid thinks that he is being polite in using the word "Jew" instead of "asshole".

Or, "Dude don't be such a Mexican" which the kids use to mean, "Stop being lazy."

Another one I hear frequently is, "That's so gay!", meaning "That's so stupid!"

And most of us have heard, "Stop being such a girl! Suck it up."

I realize that name calling and statements like these have been thrown around since puberty hit the very first clan, for the very first time. In fact commercials satirize this sort of intolerance with statements such as, "Even a caveman can do it." People use demeaning statements to sound funny or to be clever. But this is the sort of thing I have to police in my classroom, and someday I'll lose my job for it.

For example, the other day a student yelled across the room that one of his friends was "such a stupid Jew" because the friend didn't give him any gas money, even though "he KNEW" that his friend had some money on him. I, having a short fuse that morning, confronted the kid and asked, "Do you hear what you are saying? I can't believe how racist and offensive what you are saying is!"

The kid laughed.

That put me over the edge. I said, "You know what? What you are saying is exactly the same thing as me saying, 'You are such a Christian! I can't believe how hypocritical and small minded you are! Stupid Christian!'"

The classroom became deathly quiet.

I followed by explaining that of course I don't really think that all Christians are small minded and hypocritical. But the kids needed to be jolted into reality; they need to understand exactly what they are saying.

In another instance, I had a kid raise her hand to tell me that 1984 oppressive society was exactly like all Muslim societies and used a television program she watched as her example. She told me how ALL Muslims stone women who are raped. I initially began by stating that she needed to be careful with absolutes, that ALL Muslims do not think it's OK to stone women who have been raped, and that the ones who do are not part of mainstream Islam. She argued that I was wrong. In the show she watched, it didn't matter if they were in Pakistan, Iraq, or Afghanistan, that all raped or unfaithful women in those countries were stoned to death after they were tortured, that it was in "the Muslim bible" and that it was law in the Middle East.

I took a deep breath, not knowing where to begin and knowing that I had at least one Muslim in that class. I started with, "What you are saying is something like, "All Mormons are polygamists" or "All Christians stone prostitutes or unfaithful wives because that is one of the "laws" in the Christian bible." And the fact is, it is in the Bible. I explained that all religions have factions that do not make the majority proud but that we know that the ones who actually DO these horrible things are fanatics or extremists, not the majority, and this is true of this particular stereotype. I decided that I didn't have the time or knowledge to get into Middle Eastern politics, especially regarding Taliban type dogma versus the faithful majority.

Another day, to supplement my satire unit, I brought in a hilarious David Sedaris reflection about how silly it is that we give human qualities to our pets, and when the kids (especially the boys) realized that Sedaris is gay, they refused to read the piece and dismissed it as "gay" and therefore, irrelevant and wrong. They weren't going to read, "some dumb, gay story."

It worries me that people are not talking to their kids about things like this, but the problem is I assume that parents know better or that they are teaching their kids that racism/sexism is wrong. The fact is, parents are teaching their kids the opposite, even if it is by simply not addressing statements/generalizations being made in their own households. I can't believe how much hate of "other" is fostered AND nurtured in our kids.

Mostly, it makes me sad.

I say this knowing that I have said/do say/will say some pretty offensive things without realizing what I am saying. I will probably never halt the sarcasm parade that is constantly tramping through my brain. But I am asking for some mindfulness here.

Please help.
Thanks,
Ginger