First of all, I should begin by saying a few things in the name of disclaimer:
1. It's 3:45 in the morning.
2. I took cold medicine last night because I had a sore throat and I refuse to get whatever form of flu-bola is going around.
3. Because I took cold medicine my finger tips are numb - which happens to be a good thing because I shredded them all to ribbons yesterday while working with a particular piece of glass. So typing with numb, shredded fingers is proving a difficult task since it's like using the broad end of a "exposed nerve ending" spatula to hit each key. It's only sort of possible and thank God for the numb! Please excuse the typos. (I should use that excuse all of the time!)
Anyway. I woke up with an angry rage in my gut and needed to spill it here, right now, because I don't think (.) that I can go back to sleep until this bloody mosh pit of hodgepodge rant is out of me.
I realize that when a person is "doped-up" things may seem more circusy than usual, and in my world circusy is very familiar, but don't think I'm exaggerating when I suggest that the world has recently gone ape-shit bonkers. I've been to the dark side and back and very few things surprise me anymore, especially since I taught seventh grade (and I will totally bilk that for all it's worth). But here are some examples of sheer insanity that I ran across yesterday in the news:
1. An art exhibit called "
Sweet Jesus"- which portrays a life size chocolate Jesus floating in the air, arms outstretched in the recognizable crucifix position- was not only canceled but was scoffed at, mercilessly put down, and heinously scandalized all because it was done in "bad taste."* The sculpture is naked, and it turns out that Jesus...how do I put this delicately... well, it turns out that Jesus had a
PENIS! (gasp! hide the children!).
You would think that the patriarchy would be highlighting this fact and using it to their advantage (even making it bigger) in order to compensate for their own insecurities, or even better they could use that aggressive, "build it for total world domination" masculinity to um, I don't know, drop bombs on Iraq. Oh. Check. OK. Iran then..
But then again, maybe I'm off. Maybe ousting the nude Jesus has nothing to do with genitalia. Maybe the show was canceled because the sculpture was cast in dark chocolate, totally unacceptable for a sculpture of Jesus. After all, wasn't he more of a white chocolate Euro-American wall street republican? Oh wait. .
2. The world (and when I say the world, I mean Japan) is making a new beer out of a very unexpected agricultural product.
.
Got milk?
.
So as not to step on any one's toes, I'll simply give you
this link, which will tell you all you need to know about Bilk (seriously, it's like "bile" mixed with "ick"). I'll simply say that I thought fermented milk was called cottage cheese..
Oh! and think of the marketing! Haley Joel Osment, Lindsey Lohan, or one of the Pitt-Jolie kids sporting a Bilk mustache... Brilliant!
3. Three words:
Karl. Rove. Rap.This has to be one of the scariest things I've ever seen in my entire life i think i'm going to die now because no run on sentence in the entire world could ever erase the picture that is now permanently seared in my brain and there is no comedian on the planet who could ever make it right by making fun of its abomination-ness more than its own abomination-ness so move over gloria estefan we have a new winner of the "things i cannot tolerate" award and now i must go shave my eyeballs and call a priest.
(feeling better..)
Before I woke-up to this post, I had a dream. I dreamed that heaven was surrounded by a salt-water moat filled with all kinds of scary creatures. I dreamed that I was supposed to lie on my back, look up at the irrational orange sky and float to get there. Just float. I was supposed to hope that the the current would get me there without me having to do anything but keep my feet up, so as not to be brought down and held under by the raging currents and creatures beneath the water's surface.
But. As usual, and since I'm me, I decided instead to tread water - to kick and fight and struggle and choke on the salty bilk.
.
I want to get there, I really do.
.
In the mean time, here is a message to the entire world:
World, unpack your white Nike tennis shoes, tie on that purple cape, and break out the "kool-aid". It's time. Here comes Hale Bop. Let's not miss it this time..
Madness!
And it's back to bed for me.
*Thanks to Christine for the link and for the pun