Check Your Hesitation

I have many conversations with my friends that end with me saying, "Wow. What you're saying is so valid and so important that I think other people would certainly relate. Blog it. Seriously. This needs to get talked about. Use me as your soapbox." The following is a product of one such conversation. This is a very relevant and witty reflection by my dear friend, Jamie. He's been a guest blogger here before with his Zombie Jesus post and Vampires, Zombies, and the beautiful game one, so you already know he's a brilliantly insightful writer. I, for one, certainly can relate to this:

Check Your Hesitation

by Jamie F.

The question was multiple choice. It should have been simple. I was filling out a survey online. I don’t even remember what it was for; I am a whore for free stuff, so I participate in several consumer survey groups in which I trade my opinions and spending habits for a couple bucks or some frequent flier miles.

I had finished the difficult part and was at the very end of the demographic questions that finish out the survey. My age, my ethnicity, my ballpark salary range, my education level, and finally…my religious affiliation.

This was the first time in a while that I had been asked this question directly. The choices were very broad- Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, or Other. And I hesitated. I was shocked at myself for hesitating. I never would have done that five years ago.

Let’s throw out the background before anybody makes any assumptions about me. I was raised a Catholic Christian in Mississippi. And I was a pretty good Catholic. I was on the state (actually Diocesan, because Mississippi is only 2% Catholic, so there is only one diocese for almost the whole state) youth council, an officer in my Catholic Youth Organization, singer and guitarist for the Sunday night Mass. I spent time over two summers on mission trips in Mexico. I made the pilgrimage to Denver in 1993 to see THE Pope, not the new guy with the questionable past political affiliations.

I at least went to church most Sundays in college in Los Angeles. I found the Catholic Center on Campus a little creepy, so I went to a neighborhood church with Mass in Spanish most of the time.

When I moved to Texas, I spent months visiting churches. I picked one out eventually and began attending regularly. I stopped going there after attending Mass on September 16th, 2001. Take a second and put yourself back on that date, the first Sunday after September 11th. The church was packed. People were afraid. They were looking for wisdom, comfort, and many were probably looking to fill a religious void in their lives. I was excited to hear the priest’s Homily. That’s Catholic for sermon, for all you Martin Luther bandwagoners out there. Instead of lauding faith and God’s love as a way to find comfort after such a traumatic week, the priest gave a canned pitch from the Diocese asking for money as part of a special fundraising campaign for the Church. This was the same talk that would have been given if thousands of people had not died since the previous Sunday’s Mass. When he was finished with that, Mass continued, and nothing else was said extemporaneously. I, for the first time in my life, left after Communion.

I already had some major issues with some policies of the Catholic Church. This pushed me over the edge. I found another church and attended sporadically, but my relationship with Catholicism as an institution never recovered. It is important to note that this had nothing to do with my beliefs, or my faith, which remained essentially unchanged.

Over the years since then, my politics have been driven left of where they were, with little relation to religion. I still called myself a Christian, although I have always felt that religion is man’s interpretation of God, or God’s revelation of itself to man. I have always felt God speaks to people in a way they can understand, and that explains all the different faiths. I’m one of those who thinks we are all talking about the same higher power, just relating to him or her or it in different ways. I have also always distrusted man’s manipulation of faith into institutions, which is how I would define organized religion.

Here is where things get interesting. The reason I hesitated on the survey question is not because I don’t know if I have faith or if I believe in God. I am quite certain of how I feel about that. I even think that, for me, Christianity is probably the most accessible form of relating to God. I have no problem with Christianity. What I have a problem with is the baggage that goes along with the word Christian. More and more, I feel that there is a political component to that word. And, get your comments/flames ready, I would never want to be associated with the political side of Christianity.

So, for me, the question was, “Do I want my name associated with what it means to be a Christian in today’s world?” When I hear that word I start to play word association in my head…home school, creationism, right-wing, anti-feminist, intolerant, theocratic, Iraq…
To be fair, you can make some similar associations with other religion names, Islam, Judaism…you get the idea. I think I just feel that my religion did not used to carry such a radical political association and over the past few years it has gained that. It is alienating, at the very least. Now, to enter a church community, not only does one need to bring a set of religious beliefs in line with that community, but a set of political values as well. And I don’t understand why being a Christian has to mean that I demand every aspect of life embrace Christian ideals and condemn anything else.

So what am I? I felt very empty, and a little scared at my predicament. Am I going straight to hell because I denied my faith? I was sitting there waiting for the cock to crow. It is tough to let go of something as fundamental as the religion you were raised with. But if I truly believe what Christianity is about is loving my neighbor as myself and loving my God with my heart, mind, and soul, then this current right-wing political movement that stole my religion’s name needs to return it, seeing how stealing is one of the no-no’s on the list of rules they are trying to hang in the courthouses.

** Jamie also writes a soccer column for an FC Dallas website called 3rd Degree.

'Shopping Cart Karma' by Christine

-a most relatable reflection told by the most excellent, enlightening, wit-tastic (Fou)guru on the planet. Enjoy!

'I don’t believe in reincarnation. At least not in the typical, literal, “I was Cleopatra in a past life and that’s why I’m afraid of snakes and think guys named Anthony are hot” kind of way. But sometimes things happen that seem to come from past life mistakes, bad karma that I feel pretty certain doesn’t come from something horrible I did in this lifetime.

'I have never been mean to a shopping cart. I am, in fact, quite kind to them, moving them out of the dangerous places other careless shoppers have left them, corralling them into safer areas or even shepherding them back into the store with me. But this week seems to be karmically linked to some past life’s offense, some previous June when I, in the guise of a burly 1950’s man angry about my wife not doing the week’s shopping, took my frustration at being unable to find the pasta sauce out on some poor, unsuspecting shopping cart. Or something like that.

'It happened in Home Depot. My subconscious must have seen it coming since, despite my long shopping list, I tried not to get a cart. When my hands became full of paintbrushes and sandpaper, I realized my mistake. But, with my hands full, I couldn’t walk back out to the carts on the other side of the cashiers, so I found one left in the lawn and garden department, not thinking about the myriad reasons why the cart might have been abandoned. For example, one of the wheels might actually be a square.

'I should have stopped after pushing it the first five feet and making such a racket that three different men turned around and looked at me with a combination of confusion and pity. Tha-THUNK-tha-THUNK-tha-THUNK. If I went slowly, the THUNK was so forceful that the vibration through the cart moved my whole body. But when I had to walk over to the lumber section, the flattened wheel really shined. At speed it was a THUNKing, jostling masterpiece. It’s impossible to find someone to help you at Home Depot, but I must have had seven different people in orange aprons ask me if I was okay. It was probably the noise that brought them out, but it might also have been the look on my face. I can only assume that it revealed how hard I was working to keep the cart heading straight down the aisle, because it was at higher speed that the cart also showed its tendency to turn right. Only right. Really hard to the right, like some kind of suicidal run at the various displays of nails and doors and chemicals of all sorts. I tried in vain to arrange my list in an order that would allow me to only turn right, but that is NOT easy. I had to keep my right arm rigidly straight, getting such a workout that I almost dropped my bag at the checkout when I tried to put it back into my cart.

'I’m not even going to talk about the trip out to the car, consisting of a 20 mph wind and a large piece of plywood. Let’s just say that I am sorry for whatever I did to shopping carts in a past life, because, though I’m not clear on my belief in reincarnation, I have to believe in the power of forgiveness. Please forgive me, oh shopping cart gods, for I need your good will! I will be kind and, now, having learned my lesson, will endeavor to find a doctor for your less fortunate brethren. All I ask is that you let me continue my shopping adventures free from the THUNKing, the pulling, and the frustration that can mar our otherwise wonderfully symbiotic relationship.

'Or something like that.'

The Winds of Change

My super smart collegiate sis wrote an amazing blog post yesterday, and I thought I should share it since I personally think she's brilliant.. and right. Love you Heeeeed!

Heather said,

'The first of the Democratic debates are on today... and it is a very exciting thing.

The next election, I believe, will be an important one - our country seems like it is thirsting for a new order, there are candidates whose kind we've never seen before (a woman and a black man), and major changes could be on the horizon.

Yes, its obvious that things like the Military Industrial Complex and corporations really having a say in things, like foreign policy, are just things we have to accept as inevitable, but at least the 8 years of Dick & Bush will be over.

The Military Industrial Complex (M.I.C), simply explained, is generally defined as a "coalition consisting of the military and industrialists who profit by manufacturing arms and selling them to the government." Halliburton, Boeing, Lockheed-Martin keep making bigger and better military equipment, which the Pentagon believes we NEED.And everything is scattered throughout the country, in all 50 states. For example, a fighter jet -- every state is responsible for producing one part of it. So Congressmen, trying to keep their jobs, can't just knock the M.I.C out because it would take jobs away from their citizens.

There is money at both ends (front and back) of this operation, but there is just a little more at the back end, where all the politicians and their friends are.

Think about it: the U.S. has always been at war, ever since World War I. When they saw what a boost to the economy it was, foreign policy became designed around attaining what the country needs. They always slap a generic slogan on it - "Striking down the evildoers" and "Protecting our freedom" - but its really all about following the money and personal gain.

Think about the "war" in Iraq... it all started with removing Mosadek (the leader at the time) from power so that oil in the Middle East was more accessible. The US put Saddam Hussein in power, and were friends until a few shady dealings happened and suddenly Saddam was demonized to the American people - he was an evildoer.

It seems to slip everyone's mind that Dick Cheney, the current Vice President, was formerly the Secretary of Defense when the US decided to REALLY become a military heavyweight... THEN he became the CEO of Halliburton, a company that not only builds military equipment, but oil refinery equipment... The present-day Vice President is an industrial contractor.

(Can't help but put Eisenhower's quote right here:)
In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.

Basically, someone who has no previous ties and no hidden agenda would have to take office... but that'd be nearly impossible, because "its not what you know, its who you know" and the government is no different.

So, while there is hope on the horizon for change, its hard not to expect some fishy dealings... because there's 3/4 of a trillion dollars budgeted for the military, and when there's that much money, its hard to not get a little wide-eyed.

But, its exciting for me, a government buff, to see that someone of color is making this far into peoples' consciousness. And its even more exciting that Hillary Clinton threw her hat in the ring...

Hillary gets a bad rap, I think, because she's such an Ice Queen. But, she's smarter than anything! Bill Clinton had the highest IQ of all the Presidents... BUT HILLARY'S IS EVEN HIGHER!!

And Congress has started writing up plans to bring the troops home from the Middle East within the year. Too bad Bush has vowed to strike down anything they send his way. Issues like that also make it exciting to see how things change in the country and with the policies that affect everyone.

Did you feel that? ...those are the winds of change'

From Zombies to Vampires: (North) American Futbol and the Global Community

Vampires, Zombies, and The Beautiful Game
Jamie F.
"At Ginger's request, I am back to attempt a sophomoric piece for her very excellent blog. Last time I wrote about zombies. And Jesus. There were lots of insightful comments, and at least one seemed to be offended that I spoke with light heartedness about the Lord. So, if I made some people laugh, learned something about zombies (holing up in Wal-Mart), and caused someone else to pray for my lost soul, then I think I did OK. In fact, that pretty much sums up the effect of my existence on the world, in a microcosmic manner.

"Just a few minutes ago, my boss told me about an episode of some show called something like "Moral Oral" that comes on during Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network. I have never seen this show, but apparently this episode involved zombies. My boss was showing it to his mother, whom he thought it would offend greatly. However, in an act ready-made for my Zombie Jesus piece, the zombies, immediately prior to eating the flesh of their victims as zombies are wont to do, say grace. Genius. Perhaps they are thanking the Great Zombie for supplying these lemmings for their violent consumption. My boss' mom loved it.

"So for this week, we move from zombies to vampires. For me, vampires do not hold the same apocalyptic charm as zombies. They are much more stylish and suave. They are the tornado to the zombie hurricane. The angle I'm going to take with vampires is to find them in corporate America. But I am not going to jump for the low-hanging fruit that is a holiday like yesterday's Valentine's day. Let's take a look at a different area in which corporate America is threatening to destroy something good. And maybe we'll see that zombies and vampires are interconnected.

"The potential victim is my beloved Major League Soccer. Ah yes, the league created in 1996 as a condition for FIFA letting us host the World Cup in 1994. I am a huge soccer fan. I have traveled around the world to watch games. I have played since I was 4 years old. I have endured 2 knee surgeries and three months of a casted wrist, among a myriad of other injuries and treatments, just to keep my aging body on the field. Since 2003, I have been a season ticket holder for the Metroplex's own FC Dallas (formerly the Dallas Burn). Christine and I drive 65 miles each way 20 times a season to watch the team play.

"The league was founded as a way to develop the American player. It provided a place where American players could play week in and week out in real, professional games. Before MLS, when the US National Team played in the World Cups in 1990 and 1994, most of the players were amateurs. Their foes were all professionals. Eurosnobs, comparing the fledgling league to ones in the Old World, decried the lack of big name players, among other things. They had many legitimate complaints.

"A set of loyal fans showed up for most games, meaning the league posted average attendance figures around 8000 or so per game when you remove their over inflated ticket statistics. The league fought for respect. Its players overachieved in the 2002 World Cup in Korea. ESPN made fun of the league. MLS had to pay ESPN to carry their games. But through it all, there was a camaraderie to it. The fans were die-hard. The players were accessible. In 2003, the Dallas Burn were so bad that when we went to a charity Celebrity Waiter night at Bucca di Beppo, we had dinner with three players, one of whom played in this last World Cup in Germany, because no one else was there.

"The league was built on parity. There was a strict salary cap. The league owned all the teams. The best US players were allocated to the teams through a lottery process. On any given night, any team could win. Most teams made the playoffs, so unless your team was just terrible, a championship was never too far out of reach. The owners considered passing rule changes that allowed buying more expensive players, but Dallas' owner, Lamar Hunt, was always the voice of reason. Hunt had loads of experience in founding the AFL when he was in his 20's and merging it with the NFL. He oversaw the creation of Monday Night Football and the Superbowl. Hunt always voted against breaking the bank on players until the league was more mature. He had gotten burned when the old North American Soccer League did the same thing in the late 70's. Mr. Hunt passed away at the end of last season. And with him, so did the voice of reason.

"The MLS Board of Governors passed the Designated Player Rule at the end of last season, allowing a team's individual owner to pay one player anything they want without counting it against the cap. It is know colloquially as the Beckham Rule. And true to its name, you may have noticed that the Los Angeles Galaxy signed Mr. David Beckham this off-season. Mr. Beckham will make an obscene amount of money while playing alongside players who make $12,000 a year. MLS players used to fly coach and stay in motels. The arrival of the Real Royalty will mean the Galaxy get chartered flights all of a sudden, unless David Beckham wants to fly from LAX to Kansas City in the middle seat of a 757. The New York team, owned by Red Bull, is still looking for their Beckham Rule player. The current rumor is they are courting 1998 World Cup Winner and renowned head-butter Zinedine Zidane.

"My extremely belabored point is that, all of a sudden, people are coming out of the woodwork. MLS season ticket sales are exploding as everyone wants to see Beckham. In the short term, this will give soccer in the USA a boost. In the long term, what is it doing to the sport? One player on a team is not going to dramatically change the quality of the product on the field. Beckham's novelty will wear off, but his contract will not anytime soon. What I predict seeing is the same scenario that occurred with the North American Soccer League. The coastal teams, in our case LA and New York, will invest huge money in their players and make it back with sponsorship deals, season ticket sales, jersey sales, and the like. Smaller-market teams, with the stingier owners who want to follow the original salary-cap model, will see attendance dry up except for those few games a year when the traveling freak show comes to town. The fans in Dallas will stay home and watch Beckham and Zidane on TV instead of coming out to watch another "dull" game between Dallas and Columbus. Eventually, I worry that, like with the NASL, whose New York Cosmos had all the league star power with players like Pele, Beckenbauer, and Chinaglia, the small market teams will go out of business. The league will fold, as did the NASL, and the owners of New York and LA will leave with their Beckham-provided profits.

"This is where the vampires come in. I am afraid the owners willing to pump in loads of money for star power now will use that star power to suck the league dry. The result will be some big buzz for the next couple seasons. The stadiums will be flooded with throngs of soccer zombies and tabloid zombies running to consume and see the prettiest soccer player in history hit some of the prettiest dead balls in history. Seriously- all these people who could not be bothered to buy a ticket for the last 11 years because the sport was boring and MLS plays it at a mediocre level, will now instantly be season-ticket holders and watch one very pretty man play mediocre level soccer. I promise you, even if Beckham is the best player in the world, which he is not, The other 21 players on the field will still be guys like Bobby Rhine and Chris Albright. If you get lucky it might be the world-famous Christian Gomez! Yeah, I don't imagine you've heard of them.

"This is a case where the big owners and sponsors have become short sighted. They are tired of losing money on American soccer. They are tired of waiting for the league to grow slowly. It looks like they are ready to start making some money now at any cost. What will happen when the zombies in the crowd realize that Beckham is not making the soccer much better overall? Give them a few years and the star power will fizzle like it did with Freddy Adu. The development of the US player will suffer, and the sport may be set back to where it was in 1994, minus the promise of a league about to start up.

"Soccer is a good, beautiful thing, for the most part. It gets vilified, as in the current situation in Italy. It has lots of problems- racism in Europe, corruption, commercialism. But it can bring people together in ways nothing else can. It has stopped wars temporarily. It facilitates conversations on trains between fans from the all over the world. Even when it divides, it unites.

"The United States needs to be a part of this global community for so many reasons, especially now. The sport is growing slowly over here. Now is not the time to suck the blood from it quickly and leave it for dead."

Now to the comments! (that means you..)

Sunshine Speaks

I mentioned in the last post that Naomi Nye recommended Sunshine's blog called "Days of My Life." Sunshine is a 15 year old girl who lives in Iraq. She talks about teen-age stuff like all of my students (studying for mid-terms, friends, family, etc.), but she also talks about what's going on in her war-torn country. Her honest and innocent view of something absolutely horrific seems almost paradoxical, and it absolutely breaks my heart. Here is an excerpt from her latest blog post on January 18th that I find especially relevant (very heart-breaking indeed and beautiful at the same time).


"I got a letter from a dear friend of mine telling me that the media says that the Sunnis kill the Shiites and the Shiites kill Sunnites in Iraq .. OOOOHHHHH Of course that is not true , Sunnites and Shiites have been living together for ages , they marry each other , I have relatives married Shiites women\men, if that was true , that means my parents’ uncle should kill his wife ,my mom’s uncle should kill his wife , some of my parents’ cousins should kill their wives\husbands !!!!!!!! and I should kill my two best friends , that is ridiculous…In my grandparents’ neighborhood, there are people from many religions there are Muslims(Sunnites, Shiites) , Christians , Subba , &Armenians.. they are more than neighbors , like one family , when my eye problem happened ( I had Deplopia) our Christian neighbors went to the church and lightened candles for me , and our Shiites neighbors went to Karbala , she traveled to another city , just to pray for me ( Karbala is a religious place specially for Shiites ), the examples are so many . I’ve talked about that in many posts . and said that in many interviews , and I will keep saying that till the people in the world start to realize , that Iraqis (Sunnites and Shiites) live in Iraq for more than 1400 years, they are MUSLIMS and IRAQIS.We go shopping together , if we need any help , we ask our neighbors to help us , because we are all Iraqis , no matter what are our religion , nor creeds , I didn’t know what are Shiites and Sunnites until I was 12 years old, and lately it appears that there are more creeds , Shafee and hanafy !!!!!! and other creeds , I don’t know which one I belong to , and I don’t even want to know , those names are not important , we all believe in the same god , and say the same prayers , no matter how do we stand and those formals if we put our hand together when we pray or not !!!!!!, what’s important is what is there inside our hearts .So , NO we don’t kill each other , the terrorists who kill Shiites are the same who kill Sunnites , it is impossible that Good Iraqis kill each other , no matter what is their religions nor creeds …In my own big family , there are Arabs and Kurd , Sunnites and Shiites , Iraqis Americans , British , Turks , and Germans ( my parent’s uncle married a British lady , his daughter married a guy originally from Germany , and my dad’s cousin has a Turkish wife, many of my relatives married Shiites ) , what a mixture !!....From many nationalities and creeds. We are one big family.."

Sunshine could teach us a lot..

Zombie Jesus

Here's how the topic came about: I had read a hilarious David Sedaris essay about David participating in the equivalent of an English as a Second Language (ESL) class, only this one was in France and for non-French speakers. That would make it FSL? Anyway, according to the essay the class was trying to explain (in broken French) the idea of Easter to a non-Westerner. Think about it. A dad allows his son to die a horrible death. The son then comes back to life and visits his friends and family, and we celebrate this with colorful eggs, bunnies (and in France, the flying Easter bell), baskets, chocolates, and fake grass. I was trying to describe the hilarity of all of this to Christine, and as usual the topic became philosophical and serious in a surreal, circusy kind of way. You know. The usual.
ANYWAY, we thought that to people who aren't Westernized, we could be saying that Jesus is a zombie, and to others that may seem strange. We carried the metaphor a little bit further, but our ideas only went so far. We decided that we should consult the Zombie Expert of America, Jamie F. - my dear friend and Christine's dear hubby - for the REAL answers. Christine asked him, “Do you like zombies as a twisted expression of your Catholicism?” His response: “No, I like zombies as a twisted expression of my nihilism.”

Here is Jamie's dissertation on Jesus, zombies, nihilism, and the whole of humanity:

"The Jesus/zombie thing is interesting. I have thought about that as an ironic little funny before. I said to Christine once that Jesus was the ultimate zombie. He came back from the dead, but he did not conform to the mindless flesh-seeking that most zombies seem to. The idea that you and Christine presented, that Jesus is a self-sacrificing zombie who lets his flesh be consumed by the masses, is very interesting. That paints the picture to me of the mindless throngs of the masses (pun intended) mindlessly pursuing the flesh they want to eat, not because of conscious choice, but because of some primitive instinctual brain impulse provided by generations of indoctrination.

Ah ha...now I get it. It is the ultimate zombie movie, but not because Jesus is the ultimate zombie. What Jesus did, probably quite unintentionally, was create zombie-like masses of people who follow and never question.

Here is where the comparison really piques my interest. In zombie movies, there is generally some kind of plague that reanimates bodies. The top-level struggle is usually the remaining living trying to stay alive while fending off the zombie onslaught. What I love about this construct is that the living are doomed. The zombies have an unending supply of soldiers, while the living's numbers wane. The zombies are much less fragile than are the living. I like that it represents the pointlessness of the living's struggle; they try and try to survive and live and create a future, when in reality their own corpses are closing in on them and rendering what they're doing largely pointless.

That's the first level of conflict in the construct. The second is more powerful to me. The living, surrounded by death and the threat of death by former loved ones' corpses with the munchies, always end up causing more problems for each other than the zombies ever do. In Night of the Living Dead, the group shacks up in the farmhouse and boards it up. They are doing a successful job of keeping out the zombies. We, the viewers, know that if they survive until morning they will be rescued. Their undoing is each other, not the zombies. The alpha-male struggle between Ben and Mr. Cooper leads to Cooper's death, while Ben successfully wards off the zombies until morning, the sole survivor in the house, only to be shot by the hick sheriff who thinks he is a zombie.

In Dawn of the Dead the living have holed up in the mall, which is a well-stocked fortress. They are doing great until the motorcycle gang decides to loot the place, letting all the zombies in in the process.

And my favorite aspect is the way love is the downfall of the living. The most common way of otherwise intelligent people getting bitten by a zombie is because the zombie is their brother (Barbara) or their husband, or father, or whatever. The living are unable to separate a corpse from the sentimental attachments they have to the person it used to be.

So, ultimately, the living are screwed. Their world is closing in on them. Death is inevitable. No matter what they do to make life bearable, other living will screw it up through greed. If they love anyone, that will eventually cause them pain and even death. And no matter how clever they are, they will die. It is a huge metaphor for life. All that they can have is hope that they will be delivered somehow. Just as mankind has faith in an afterlife to make this life more bearable. It's not a happy picture at all, but it is fun to watch the living scurry around, and zombies are phat.

San Dimas High School Football Rules!"

Alright. Your turn. Respond please!