And it begins..

Today is the first day of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), which means that I've challenged myself to write a blog entry every day this month. I feel sort of cheap by making my first entry about the challenge, but I think it's all I can do today with all the stuff going on.

I can give you some updates, though:
1. My sinus infection is not gone. Antibiotics have helped a little bit and last night I actually slept through the night in my own bed for the first time in 5 days. I had been spending the nights either propped up on the couch or walking in endless circles in tears, frustrated and hurting. (Ask Rich - we've both felt sort of helpless lately.) I tried a saline rinse today thanks to Chelle's excellent advice, and I'm hoping that that will ease some of the pain too. In the mean time, it's Tylenol for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Let's hope my liver can stand it.

2. I'm getting some excellent responses to this month's salon topics. Please continue to send them. Every idea is helpful and thought provoking. I so appreciate your contributions!

3. Since this is NaBloPoMo, maybe, if you're not a part of the contest.. or even if you are, you would consider participating in NaCoPoMo (National Comment Posting Month) so as to keep us motivated to keep writing. I know that Jen, Lisa, and Chelle are all with me on this and we need all the encouragement we can get!!

So, that's it for now. Research papers and Macbeth are calling me out.. Assholes.
j/k. I love you Macbeth!

Happy Halloween!

I pretty much mentally write this letter to.. oh... just about everyone and everything I know. Ignorance is definitely bliss.

AND Charles Schulz was a genius.


Happy Halloween Everyone!

Friday Night Salon

The new salon topics are in! Quick! I need your input!

Discussion topics for November 2, 2007:

1. What is the future of the book?
2. Does America have a "national identity"? Can it? Should it?
3. To cause or increase suffering is always unethical.

The rest of me feels better..

It is 1:30 in the morning and I am getting dangerously close to turning into a flesh eating zombie. I WISH! Dude. I think being undead would be preferable to what I'm feeling right now, and yes, I am totally being overly dramatic and whiny and I don't give a shit. I'm in pain.

I keep wondering what number I would say if the doctor asked me to rate my pain on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being a minor discomfort and 10 being the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life. And by the way, I would like to know how I would know when I've experienced a 10. Or really, I wouldn't like to know, but you know what I mean. In any case, I'm totally counting on passing out by 8. That being said, I think my pain level is at a 7.

I think I have a sinus infection. At least, that's what I hope it is since I am on an antibiotic for that. The right side of my face is in constant throbbing pain that will not go away no matter how much Tylenol I swallow or warm steam I inhale. It could also be an ear infection or some sort of tooth rot, I suppose, if we are considering all options. But I think that because there is no direct pain in my mouth and the only small relief I get is from pinching the top of my nose, we can at least rule out anything dental and rule in (?) something sinus-y.

Sitting up helps with the pain tolerance, too - or am I simply distracted? Either way, it's hard to sleep sitting up and/or/whilst pinching my nose. Believe me. I've tried.

I've also tried breathing it out. I've tried to concentrate on my inhales and exhales while counting. If anything, I thought that by controlling my breath I could at least stop the panic that goes hand in hand with not having slept for three days. Mindful breathing seems to work a little, but I'm not good enough at it to breathe away the pain.

The good news is my doctor started me on antibiotics yesterday, so there should be some improvement soon. And if there isn't, I 'm going to make one of you roll over my foot with a car or cattle brand my inner thigh so that I can think of something else besides the right side of my face for a second. Hell, just punch me in the face. OR Maybe I should go head to head with that Georgian guy who thinks it's cool to pull helicopters with this ears. I bet I could give him a run for his money. We are probably sharing some similar feelings these days.

In the mean time, bitch, moan, and cry.
bitch. moan. and cry.

Yeee-HAW!

Thanks for this Sarah! (I think..)

Sick Call

I am so glad that this week is over. I have been sick since last week and have struggled through the week, sometimes barely being able to lift my head. It is so ridiculously stupid that I would rather go to school and suffer through the week, begging for my students' consideration than miss a few days of work and double my work load by preparing for a substitute. It is nearly impossible for teachers to miss work. My body hates me right now, and I know that I have prolonged my recuperation time because I refuse to miss a day unless I absolutely have to. I know that my class will be fine without me, but I also know that days with substitutes end up being wasted days filled with meaningless busy work that I have to prepare and then grade on top of my huge work load. Plus it puts us behind and, in a school where we only have enough resources for the teachers to share class sets of novels, we have to be considerate of each others' time tables. Getting behind is not an option.

sigh.

At least it's the week-end. I have some serious couch time I need to make-up. Hopefully by Monday I'll be well.

Do I laugh or do I hide?

I'm not sure what to make of this. It could be the trailer for a blockbuster thriller.. or comedy. Jamie thinks it may be something akin to Night of the Living Dead, but I think it's more like Snakes on a Plane*.


Proposed (Classified) Bill Will Defend Against Flesh-Eating (Classified)

*Of course I meant "Mother Fuckin' Snakes on a Mother Fuckin' Plane"

Oxygen?! Who needs it?

It's research paper season so all blog bets are off. My soul is being mercilessly pressed by a huge stack of papers that NEED to be marked, so much so that I feel like I should whisper, "more... weight..." as I gasp for my my last breath in this my final, stoic declaration. Or maybe it's this HORRIBLE flu that my students have generously shared with me that is constricting my airways. Either way, can't...breathe...

"All Summer in a Day" Day

It stormed today! A big one complete with downed trees, loss of electricity (lots of teenagers screaming), and that ominous green sky which is usually a red flag for tornadoes. It very much reminded me of Ray Bradbury's short story, "All Summer in a Day." I used to share this story with my seventh graders on especially stormy days since the inherent fear that comes with booming thunder, violent winds, and blazing lightning allows for the story to be more real and therefore effective. I still distribute the story to my seniors sometimes.

"All Summer in a Day" teaches a lesson about treating people with kindness. I think this is a good reminder for children of all ages, especially for those of us who "grow-up" and forget the lessons of our childhood. Needless to say, bullying doesn't stop in high school, and though sticks and stones can break bones, words, when we allow them, can crush our spirits and lock us in our own metaphorical closets, leaving us trapped underneath what seem to be never-ending storm clouds. The result of being injured in this way is what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. refers to as "internal violence of the spirit" which can be as damaging as external, physical violence.

I've been noticing a lot of 'meanie-bo-bellinis' in the grown-up world lately, even among friends. Maybe we should all step back on particularly stormy days and read Bradbury's short story by candlelight. Maybe that way, we can remind ourselves that occasionally we need to "awaken a sense of moral shame" in ourselves, especially that part of ourselves that knows right from wrong. We need to remind ourselves to be continually practicing "understanding good will" because in doing so we remember that these are the methods which build and rebuild true community - the only vehicle that will change the world for the better.

Join the Living!

I have very fond memories of my collegiate experiences at TTU. A lot of them begin with "You'll never believe this, but when I was a stupid college kid..." and end with "but I'm really glad I did it, anyway." Many of these stories include my friend, Carol.

In college I spent a lot of time at the Wesley Foundation, a campus ministry that operates under the Methodist Church banner, a place where I met some of the most incredible people I know. See, for example, Rich. And the incomparable P-ta! I've briefly introduced you to Carol, whom I also met at the Wesley house, in a long-winded Easter memory that I wrote last year. After several years of missing her with good intentions to reconnect, I think I'll finally be able to do so now that I've read a certain article about her and her recent creative shenanigans.

I adore the awesomely vibrant Carol and have always been inspired by her. Some of my memories with her include helping her establish the Renaissance Coffee House (a little experiment that attempted to bring folks of all faiths together in a spirit of community -a new beginning- and was successful for a few years), experiencing the joys jumping on the coolest trampoline ever in Perry, OK, and watching Waiting for Guffman 3 (or was it 4) times in a row and laughing until all the oxygen was gone from the universe. Carol and I were not afraid of socks and Birkenstocks and she was one of the first people with whom it was easy for me to sit in silent, prayerful meditation without feeling intimidated or self-conscious. She has that ease about her, that peace. She has always had vision.

Thanks (again) to P-ta who posted a news clipping about Carol, I am working to reestablish contact. She is currently on a mission of sorts. She and her partner, Kate, have decided to go on a journey to "Join the Living." Their goal is to travel cross-country for four months in a truck that runs on recycled vegetable oil that they borrow from the trash containers of various fast food establishments along the way. This pilgrimage is the launch for their newest project called Join the Living. The project's aim is to build an imaginative, spiritual community full of new found leaders who use their gifts to better the world. Check out the links to see exactly what Carol and Kate are doing on this journey, how they are doing it, and with whom. I think you'll be inspired by their encounters. Check out the new mag called Bread and Oranges that is currently being assembled and that will be released in print in 2008.

The Join the Living project makes me want to do more with these hands of mine. I do have some projects in the works (baby-steps), and maybe this will be the inspirational boost I need to get the stagnant cogs moving.

Cheers Carol!