Completely Extracted

So, I had a tooth extracted on Monday. For those of you who have had this procedure done, you know that it isn't a pleasant experience. That being said, it could have been much worse. (Have Rich tell you the story about Dr. Death extracting some extra teeth..)

What occurred to me as I sat in the chair with several metal "instruments" sticking out of my mouth was not that my cheek skin was being stretched to its maximum uh.. stretch-itude, nor was I curious about what exactly was making that high pitched "sawing" sound. It was actually that, for some odd reason, I needed to be able to "handle" the extraction with some sort of ease and dignity if I am expected to, in 3 months, give birth to a baby. I felt like I was having some sort of dress rehearsal for a big event, a notion that is COMPLETELY mad seeing as one does not relate to the other - wrong doctor type, wrong body parts, wrong everything. The only thing the two situations might have in common is that there were needles involved, and a great deal of stress on my part. Oh, and both cases involve matter being "extracted" from my body.

The point is that having the tooth extracted was more of a mental battle to me. If I'm not brave for something this minor, then how in the hell am I going to perform in the majors? If proven unsuccessful, the baby will have to apply for college via my womb.

In the end, I think I did OK. I did ask for more of the numbing stuff so that I wouldn't actually feel anything but pressure. Things got a little "iffy" half-way through. I did leave the office with a swollen, stunned and betrayed, "How could you do this to me?" look on my face, especially after the special connection we made. And I sort of meant it, seeing as I felt totally vindicated when I "stole" a complimentary toothbrush from the lavatory. That'll show 'em.

But the doctor told me that I was a good patient. And I told him that he performed the best extraction I've ever had. So there you go. That means.. Well, it means nothing really. But I feel like I've had some sort of victory.