As I sip my coffee, sift through miles and miles of meaningless and some meaningful information on the web, and as I think about all of the chores I need to do today before the work week begins, I find myself becoming tense in the shoulders, a little nauseated and ridiculously overwhelmed. What I am doing now (blogging and surfing) could probably be defined as stalling. I know I need to get up and grade, mow the grass, and wash some laundry, yet here I sit, worrying about what I need to do but haven't. Add in the guilt associated with my "laziness" and the guilt associated with the fact that I get to live in a suburban house in a prosperous country where I get to eat as much as I want, whenever I want, what you get is one miserable, sick, fretting girl... who is still idly sitting here. While I mentally flog myself for my lethargy, I get increasingly (and conflictingly) angry; I worked most of the day yesterday! I cleaned the house, graded some papers, and washed part 1 of the laundry! Where was my week-end? This is typical for me. I spend seven days a week actively working from 7:00 in the morning when I get to school, to sometimes 9:00 at night grading and planning for the next day. Still, I need the week-end for catch-up! No wonder I'm cranky(! )and how dare I feel this way when there are people on the planet who are starving, those who are homeless and those who are struggling from day to day! Then again, what's wrong with wasting some time on a Sunday morning, a day usually labeled "the day of rest"? I'm rambling, yes, but as I entertain, no, nurse my anxiety attack, I am reminded of the Gross National Happiness Index.
The GNH, according to Wikipedia is, "an attempt to define quality of life in more holistic and psychological terms than Gross National Product... The concept of GNH is based on the premise that true development of human society takes place when material and spiritual development occur side by side to complement and reinforce each other. The four pillars of GNH are the promotion of equitable and sustainable socio-economic development, preservation and promotion of cultural values, conservation of the natural environment, and establishment of good governance."
With this in mind, I took a survey given by the NEH, the New Economics Foundation, which is an index "dedicated to human well-being and environmental impact," and found that though I live in a prosperous nation, in a comfortable household, I may not be as happy with life as I ought to be. I work all of the time, waste, eat conveniently and have an overall low life satisfaction as a result. Maybe it's time to re-mold my ecological footprint (really, my ecological land fill), and maybe it's time for a personal reform! I can change the way I eat; I can conserve more energy; I can recycle and spend less money! I can enjoy life more and help my community, thus uplifting my spirit! Yes, this is exactly what I need to help me feel more happy and valuable! It's a private revolution, baby!!!!
And yet I sit, pop-tart in hand, knowing that I need to be grading.