Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

by Mary Oliver

Glacier View. Bike and Brew. How'd you do?

I'm still not sure if my brain is ready to tell this story, but I think I'll HAVE to give it a try seeing as a very dear friend of mine recently informed me that I am his #2 favorite blogger. #1 updates more than me, so BAM. I lose. Sucks to my assmar. Just. like. that. So if this is long winded and heinous, send your hate mail to Buffalo.. (grin)

Notes on Traveling

Lesson #2 - Rain Gear Is NOT Embarrassing!

(a review of lesson#1 can be found here)

So before I left for England, the first of my summer tour trifecta, it was raining beaucoups* here in the Metroplex. It was STILL raining when I returned home 10 days later. It was raining so much that they posted those (seemingly obvious) highway signs that read "Turn around. Don't drown!" for those morons who 'take the chance' in their itsy bitsy Ford Pintos and Chevy Vegas and cross the white water rapids that happen to be newly raging (inconveniently) through an intersection, blocking the most DIRECT route to their IHOPian destinations.**

Anyway.

It was raining.

I knew Alaska would be cold and wet, too, so in between trips I went looking for rain gear. Even in the middle of a metroplex monsoon, rain gear is surprisingly hard to find, so my mom was generous enough to buy a raincoat for me in Lubbock(!)and brought it to me in Alaska. My amazing Aunt Gagi also brought rain ponchos for all of us, so you'd think I'd be covered.. Right? Literally. Covered - by a rain poncho, a rain coat, and a stylish brolly that I bought at Covent Garden in England where it also rained every day.

Too bad I forgot to bring any of this rain gear on my bike and brew experience in Juneau, Alaska..

The brochure for this excursion said that participants would take a "leisurely and scenic" bicycle tour to a gorgeous glacier where we would stop for a little ho cho (hot chocolate) and a picture op, and then head on to the brew part - a tour of an Alaskan brewery and free samples for everyone.

"Yes!" I thought to myself upon reading said brochure. "I've been cycling for a few months now, and am sort of in shape." AND "I like beer! Odd combo, but good for pictures.. OK, let's give it a go!"

We signed up.

First of all, the word "leisurely" means something VERY different in the lower 48. Apparently leisurely in Alaska means up-hill, across major intersections, at a fast pace, in the rain. I did not understand this initially. Oh and I can't forget to mention the bears. "There may be bears near and around you at all times. If you see one, ride faster than the guy next to you, and you'll be fine." (a small panic.)

But I digress (again).

While we were being fitted for helmets and bikes (-my assigned bike was different from the others and required special breaking instructions... holy shit..) the tour leaders offered us some rain gear. I thought, "Nah. It's not really raining. It's just a little drizzle. I'm not afraid of a little rain. Plus look at how silly Rich (who had opted yes for rain gear) looks in his "high water, a size too small" rain pants that don't completely cover his jeans.


There are attractive men around.


I'm not going to wear THOSE in front of them. I'm fine. Well, OK, I'll take the rain jacket, but I REFUSE to wear those goofy looking pants."

Having that particular thought process was a mistake that immediately came back to kick my ass. Literally.

Here's the picture proof:

My "special" bike with the "special" breaks did NOT have a "special" splash guard like the others, and as one may or may not understand (because she grew up in the desert), when it rains puddles form. If one rides a bicycle through said puddles without a splash guard on her bike, the mud and water spin onto one's back and back side - which is precisely what happened to me!

We had not even stopped for the ho cho OR brew part of the trip and already my ass was completely wet; my jeans were stuck to my knees because when jeans get wet, that's what they do, which, it turns out, makes pedaling very difficult. On top of that, I was way out of breath and was actually making excuses about not being used to the high Alaskan altitude - though I've since learned being at high altitude has nothing to do with being north on a map. Alaska happens to be right at sea level..


Also, there were times when we were riding up-hill, rain whipped and cold, that I should've walked my bike since I was riding so slowly that my bike almost turned over for lack of propulsion. I could audibly hear the freaking bears snicker and snear, "Too easy.. That's just too damn easy. Plus, get a load of her pants.."

(sigh)

The good news is that I was in high spirits (yes, before the brew) and was able to make jokes about wanting to find some sweet jumps.

The attractive men took it upon themselves to mention how wet my pants were. Perhaps it was because I kept shrieking like a teenage girl, "Hey! I can't believe how wet my pants are! Look at this! Ohmahgod! It's probably the altitude!" over and over.

I don't want to sound like it was a ruined excursion. In fact, it might have been my favorite one! And, after the brew, I really didn't care about my pants at all or about the fact that with every step, my panties wrung a tiny stream of water down my legs. I took out (literally in the form of a body check) any and all frustration on one of the attractive men hecklers at the end of our frantic hike back to the ship, which is a different story for a different post.

The moral is don't be embarrassed about rain gear. Wearing it could prevent high levels of embarrassment, though I'm sure I would've found a different path to total self-mortification on this excursion.

* So, here in Texas we say "boo coos", but I just realized that what we are really saying is beaucoups - as in the French merci beaucoups (thank you very much). We totally bastardized that one.

** "Wow, rants are easy to come by," said the girl who is now drooling for pancakes

Hush Hush. Keep it down, now. Voices carry!

Over the last month, I have experienced profoundly still, self actualizing moments (my breath is still caught in the inhale of some of them); horrifyingly embarrassing incidents (some hilariously entertaining, and others not so funny but entertaining nonetheless); and completely CIRCUSY, mad (!) mad (again!) moments of insanity.

I would like to share (most of) them with you.

Here's the problem:

All of these happenings seem to be lodged in a blurry, ooze-goozey milieu in my brain, and I can't really concentrate on one story or another without something else schlepping its way into what was, for twenty seconds, a concrete focus. For example, I was all set to write about this one specific happening in Alaska, but before the typing started I had already gotten up three times: to get a book that I read while in Alaska (for excerpt sharing), to get the email address of a new friend whom I met on my travels and of whom the excerpt reminded me at that moment, and to check my phone messages, speaking of friends, to see if P and A have a new baby yet. (She's due today. I'm not just randomly checking.)

Rich and I were having a conversation last night about having a Freaky Friday experience. (Was that really Lindsay Lohan in the remake?) I won't go into detail except to say that when I asked him if he would ever want to trade places with me, he laughed out loud and said he didn't think he could handle it..

Such is my brain.

Despite the constant interruptions by the little distractions in my head, that miry ooze-goozum is slowly solidifying into firm memories. Unfortunately, they are also being molded and moulded by time so they may not be ALL THE WAY true. But I'll try to be honest in my sharing. Plus, you won't know if I'm telling the truth or not and you won't be able to tell because

I do some stupid shit.

Ask Christine who recently joined ranks with Rich, Mark, and the majority of my students in her verbalization of the opinion that I'm a tad on the crazy side "in a good way" --whatever that means. So unless you were with me as a direct observer and recorder of events, you'll never REALLY know the God's honest truth (laughing to myself maniacally).

AND This is a public apology to you, Christine. I'm sorry for frogging you (with great force and precision) in the arm, but maybe next time you'll think twice before attacking me with another ridiculously loud robotic phone rooster!

Wait. Who's crazy?!

More to come.

from Weeds

A conversation between a middle aged suburban (unhappily) married PTA attending soccer mom and a troubled 10 year old boy- on life:

Soccer Mom: Everyone thinks I've lost my mind.

Boy: Everyone thinks I'm weird.

SM: Well, I can see why you may give that impression.

B: I really don't care what they think.

SM: Good for you. Let your freak flag fly!

B: Really?

SM: Really. I've recently stopped giving a shit about what anyone says, and I gotta tell you, I feel great!

B: But you have cancer.

SM: And you have a dead father.

Both of us make people feel really uncomfortable. There is no way around it. So either we can feel all self-conscious and pretend that everything is normal, or we can just be our strange selves.

B. Thank you.

SM: For what?

B: For telling me the truth.

SM: You're welcome.

It's a bitch though, ain't it?

B: (nods)

The fun never ends! Also this week-end, I was lucky enough to fly home on the day that Cliff and Deidra were here visiting from Buffalo. Also, P-ta just returned from England three days ago and we were all able to connect and meet for one evening! Cliff (who married the amazing Deidra)and P-ta are two of my best friends from college and they are still so, so dear to me! Deidra and I have recently connected in the blogosphere. What a great reason to keep a blog! I am such a lucky girl to have such wonderful friends!!
left to right: Jeremy, P-ta, Deidra, Cliffy, Wratch, and me
(more pics on the flickr)

NYC Baby!

Here are the promised NYC pics! For only having from 5:00 pm onwards to explore the city, I think we did a lot: Central Park, Times Square, Trump Tower, Grand Central Station, The Guggenheim, Staten Island Ferry and Lady Liberty, a Broadway show, Chinatown (briefly), and more! On top of that we were studying and sitting in conferences, meeting new freinds, networking, etc. NYC was a whirlwind of a good time!

Click here for more pics.

Cowboy Cocktails and Craziness

Friend P-ta is in town and we decided to keep a live blog on the goings on so that you can be a part of the festivities. We are having what we call a Cowboy Cocktails sampling and gaming party which could end in a variety of very interesting ways. I've already smeared the new Nestles chocolate caramel crunch bar all over parts of my anatomy, and I was stone cold sober for that. So who knows where the evening will take us.



We selected several cocktails from the book, wrote their names on small pieces of paper, put them in my Olympic pith helmet, and drew the first drink. All recipes are from Grady Spears and Brigit L. Binns book called Cowboy Cocktails which pairs drink recipes with country music listening suggestions.
(disclaimer: we're only making one of each drink to share share among the three of us. Also, we're drinking them about an hour apart from each other)

Pick #1: The Texican
Ingredients: tequila, cranberry juice, and lime.
Music: "Did I Shave My Legs For This?" by Deana Carter, but we're listening to "Come On Eileen" by Dexys Midnight Runners.
Game: Der Untergang Von Pompeji which comes with a cardboard volcano and fake lava.

Verdict: I prefer the Cape Cod over The Texican, but if you like the taste of tequila, you'll like this one. It actually tastes really light. The game was fun, but most of my people died in the lava, so I lost.







Pick #2: Well Water (but we're calling it Spring Water since we substituted vodka for gin)
Ingredients: voka, triple sec, and blue curacao over crushed ice
Music: "Blue Water" by Poco but we're listening to "A Little Respect" by Erasure
Game: Niagra which involves mining gems, a canoe, and not getting swept over a waterfall

Verdict: The drink is F.O.U.L. but would be worse with gin and my canoe went over the falls one too many times, so I lost.






Pick #3: Margtini
Ingredients: tequila, triple sec, lime juice, and soda
Music: "Mister Richard Smoker" by Ween, but we're listening to "A Million Ways To Be Cruel" by OK Go.
Game: Masons which involves building walls and cities

Verdict: The drink is extremely lime-y and tequila-y. It's pretty sour, but I like it better than the Well Water, but not as much as the The Texican. The game was fun, though I couldn't build enough walls to save myself, so I lost.



Pick #4: Purple Jesus (Steve in Rhode Island picked this one for us and then asked that I give him credit for it - that publicity whore!! Leave me a comment next time, Steve. I mean, wish you were here..)
Ingredients: vodka, grape juice, and ginger ale
Music: Honkey Talk Heroes by Waylon Jennings, but we're listening to The Sundays
Game: Einfach Genial (which means I'm a genius), a game about laying tiles (???) It's also a game where your highest lowest score wins and you yell "Einfach Genial" when one of your tiles gets the highest score. Everyone else yells, "yah!"


Verdict: The drink is alcoholic communion pretty much. I like it because it tastes like grape juice. So it turns out that Ich bin nicht ein Genie, and therefore I lost.
But P-ta won!!!
"Yah!!"

Pick #5: Texas Tea (Steve in LONG Island picked this one for us and then asked that I give him credit for it - that publicity whore!! I mean, I still wish you were here..)
Ingredients: A whole lot of stuff and Dr. Pepper (to make it Texan) and an asprin garnish
Music: "Sunset on the Sage" by Commander Cody, but we're listening to "Shout" by Tears for Fears
Game: Zooloretto where you collect and breed animals and put them in a zoo..


Verdict: The drink does NOT taste like any Texas Tea I've ever had which is disappointing, but the game is interesting already seeing as Rich and P-ta are separating pandas and elephants.. Most of my animals were sterile, so I lost.

***Reminder - We are sharing 1 drink at a time and have had 5 in 6 hours.***

That's all I can stand tonight seeing as we started this fun at 4:00 and it is now 11:20.
What a great day!!!

all of this AND they want my face on a marquee in Times Square!

I'm home from The Big Apple! They begged me to stay on Broadway since I'm (what they call) a natural; they applauded my sweet dance moves and natural, God given singing abilities. Ok, Ok.. so only a couple of people were enthusiastic. But they have connections, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Um. Right. So the rave reviews came from a homeless man who was already clapping to himself before I walked past and a guy from Brooklyn who said, "fogedda bout it."

And the guy from Brooklyn was actually responding to a question I had about a ferry ride and not my performing talents.. which I guess is a good thing.

Whatever.

I can say that made an impression there.

I'm home, safe and happy, but they'll have to calf-rope me to keep me here for long. :)

(pictures to follow)

Briefly..

Alaska is amazing.

That's really all I need to share.

I don't think that I can verbally express to you the beauty that is inherent in Alaska, the spirituality that accompanies the nature, and the miracles - the designs of water, ice, earth, and air that illustrate godly art (inspired moments !) sometimes configured in different orders , but crafted and purposeful.

And cruising is so much fun! It was nice to have a "home base" for all of the excursions. I even got to unpack. Also, there are always a million things to do on the ship: There were art auctions, wine tasting, karaoke, tango lessons, towel art class, a spa, and MORE! Rich and I didn't take part in many of the extras - we found other things to do.. BUT cruising is a lot of fun! See these pictures for the proof (of the ship activities and excursions):










(Click here for more Alaska pics OR visit the Flickr badge).

I LOVED getting to have this vacation! I am a very lucky girl! (Thank you, Mom!!!)

Home Again Home Again Jiggedy Jig

Now I am home from trip #2,
Alaskan cruise and bike 'n brew!

:)

Pictures and posts are coming soon, time permitting..