Letters for April 8: Willie

Hey Willie,
Happy Birthday, man! I'm still trying to get to one of your picnics. I hope to see you soon.
Love, Ginger

Letters for April 7: Read this!!

To whom this should concern,
(read: to all of you!)

Recently, I have had to do a lot of "correcting" in my classroom regarding insensitive racist/sexist/intolerant statements. For example, and this may offend some of you, I am hearing statements like this:

"Oh my God, that kid is such a Jew!"
For those of you who are not in the know, this is not a flattering statement and is akin to saying, "Oh my God, that kid is such an asshole!"
And the horrible part is that the kid thinks that he is being polite in using the word "Jew" instead of "asshole".

Or, "Dude don't be such a Mexican" which the kids use to mean, "Stop being lazy."

Another one I hear frequently is, "That's so gay!", meaning "That's so stupid!"

And most of us have heard, "Stop being such a girl! Suck it up."

I realize that name calling and statements like these have been thrown around since puberty hit the very first clan, for the very first time. In fact commercials satirize this sort of intolerance with statements such as, "Even a caveman can do it." People use demeaning statements to sound funny or to be clever. But this is the sort of thing I have to police in my classroom, and someday I'll lose my job for it.

For example, the other day a student yelled across the room that one of his friends was "such a stupid Jew" because the friend didn't give him any gas money, even though "he KNEW" that his friend had some money on him. I, having a short fuse that morning, confronted the kid and asked, "Do you hear what you are saying? I can't believe how racist and offensive what you are saying is!"

The kid laughed.

That put me over the edge. I said, "You know what? What you are saying is exactly the same thing as me saying, 'You are such a Christian! I can't believe how hypocritical and small minded you are! Stupid Christian!'"

The classroom became deathly quiet.

I followed by explaining that of course I don't really think that all Christians are small minded and hypocritical. But the kids needed to be jolted into reality; they need to understand exactly what they are saying.

In another instance, I had a kid raise her hand to tell me that 1984 oppressive society was exactly like all Muslim societies and used a television program she watched as her example. She told me how ALL Muslims stone women who are raped. I initially began by stating that she needed to be careful with absolutes, that ALL Muslims do not think it's OK to stone women who have been raped, and that the ones who do are not part of mainstream Islam. She argued that I was wrong. In the show she watched, it didn't matter if they were in Pakistan, Iraq, or Afghanistan, that all raped or unfaithful women in those countries were stoned to death after they were tortured, that it was in "the Muslim bible" and that it was law in the Middle East.

I took a deep breath, not knowing where to begin and knowing that I had at least one Muslim in that class. I started with, "What you are saying is something like, "All Mormons are polygamists" or "All Christians stone prostitutes or unfaithful wives because that is one of the "laws" in the Christian bible." And the fact is, it is in the Bible. I explained that all religions have factions that do not make the majority proud but that we know that the ones who actually DO these horrible things are fanatics or extremists, not the majority, and this is true of this particular stereotype. I decided that I didn't have the time or knowledge to get into Middle Eastern politics, especially regarding Taliban type dogma versus the faithful majority.

Another day, to supplement my satire unit, I brought in a hilarious David Sedaris reflection about how silly it is that we give human qualities to our pets, and when the kids (especially the boys) realized that Sedaris is gay, they refused to read the piece and dismissed it as "gay" and therefore, irrelevant and wrong. They weren't going to read, "some dumb, gay story."

It worries me that people are not talking to their kids about things like this, but the problem is I assume that parents know better or that they are teaching their kids that racism/sexism is wrong. The fact is, parents are teaching their kids the opposite, even if it is by simply not addressing statements/generalizations being made in their own households. I can't believe how much hate of "other" is fostered AND nurtured in our kids.

Mostly, it makes me sad.

I say this knowing that I have said/do say/will say some pretty offensive things without realizing what I am saying. I will probably never halt the sarcasm parade that is constantly tramping through my brain. But I am asking for some mindfulness here.

Please help.
Thanks,
Ginger

Letters for April 6: Principals

Hi Friends!

I need your input. Sadly my amazing boss, Mr. A, has decided to retire. That means (sniff) that our school needs a new principal!

In order to pick the best person for the job, the committee that was elected to conduct interviews has sent out a questionnaire to help them ask the right questions. I think these questions are valid, no matter where you live or what your job is. Education is important to all of us.

Here are three of the questions:

1. What are your educational concerns? (in society, in public schools? in your own household?)
2. Which areas (TAKS (or state testing), curriculum, discipline, budget, etc.) should a principal emphasize?
3. What is the most important quality in a principal?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Ginger

Letters for April 5: Baby Jack

Dear Jack,

This will be the first of many letters I write to you, I'm certain. In fact, I've been meaning to write you a letter since you came to be.

When I think about all of the things I want to say to you, I get completely overwhelmed, and end up all misty-eyed (and lame). And I'm sure there will be those moments amidst the, "You did what!!???"'s and the "How much is it gonna cost?"'s. But we have to start somewhere, right?

So, here goes.

I will begin by telling you I love you. I really, REALLY, gut crunching love you, and am so glad you are here.. er. are about to be here. But whatever, you are already here to me (especially at 1:00 in the morning when I am trying to sleep - thanks for those reminders..). And the fact that I love you is all it will ever come back to in the end.

I could end the letter here and it would be sufficient, for the rest of your life, but I have some other things on my list to talk to you about. We'll call them reminders (as opposed to rules which lend themselves to certain rebellion, especially if you are anything like your dad..). Here are the first 5:

1. Love... Just love. That's #1.

2. Have compassion - We are going to work on this together by being involved in our community, wherever that community may be.

3. Be respectful - of people, of your environment... of your parents.

4. You have the (un)fortunate honor of being a kid of two school teachers. That means we think book learnin' is pretty important. You will do your homework. You will be read to and you will read to us. We hope to instill in you a wonder for the world and all things in it, especially since we are continually being gobsmacked by what there is to know.

5. See the world. People continually tell me that I will never travel again because you are going to keep us pretty busy. I just tell them that you'll be a kid with a passport. The most well rounded kids I know are those who see that the world is bigger than their backyards. I hope that you get to be one of them.

So, those are the first 5.. until I think of other things to add to the list.

I also wanted to mention that you must take a shower when I ask you to (boys are gross!), and you must not climb on the roof just to jump off of it. But I think I'll save those tips for the book I am writing called, Jack's Survival Tips: Things that will keep your momma sane whilst lengthening your life expectancy, both literally and figuratively, at the same time.

It's a working title.

Anyway Jack, I'll see you in a month and a half or so.

I love you and there are already tons of folks here who are ready to love you, too. You're a lucky boy!

Momma

Letters for April 4: Moth Girl

Dear Moth Girl,

Don't worry.

You will not be lost, and what makes you you will also not be lost. Remember, change happens to be born often here and quickly too; you will labor through it: exhaling uncertains and gasping for newness, appreciative of the water, though (knowing you) keeping one eye focused on the distant, solid ground. In the end, you may even take flight! But you won't know until Outcome reveals herself.

Try to be mindful, no matter what happens. Even if the form of you becomes the unrecognizable, glaring back at you in the mirror (as sometimes happens to the best of us); even then, you - who has the potential to recall the fragrance of the timeless lotus flower- will remain familiar and recognizable to those who love you.

So, don't worry.

Change is.

In Egypt, I loved the perfume of the lotus. A flower would bloom in the pool at dawn, filling the entire garden with a blue musk so powerful it seemed that even the fish and ducks would swoon. By night, the flower might wither, but the perfume lasted. Fainter and fainter, but never quite gone. Even many days later, the lotus remained in the garden. Months would pass and a [moth] would alight near the spot where the lotus had bloomed, and its essence was released again, momentary but undeniable.

(from The Red Tent by Anita Diamant)

Letters for April 3: Arboretum

April 13, 2008

To: Groundskeepers and Maintenance at the Metroplex Arboretum
From: Moth Girl
Re: Dallas Blooms

To whom it may concern,

First of all, I would like to begin by saying thank you for providing us with such a wonderful experience in the arboretum yesterday. The weather was gorgeous (though I know I can actually thank April for that one) and the flowers and greens were superb!

I only have one gripe. At an establishment such as yours, I feel that it is absolutely important to see sights such as these:

And not ones such as this:






















It only confuses things for those of us who are not fauna-savvy.

Thanks for your attention to the matter.
Sincerely,
Mothy
P.S. To see other appropriate pictures of the day, go here.

Letters for April 2: Dr. King

Dear Dr. King,

It's happening. You said, "I have a dream that one day... the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood" in that speech you made on the steps of the Lincoln memorial on August 28, 1963, and I wanted to let you know that 45 years later it is finally happening thanks to David A. Wilson (son of former slaves) and David B. Wilson (son of former slave owners).

Though things are still very rocky, as they would be with anyone who hasn't communicated in 45 years, especially about a subject that is still so terribly sore, I think that your heart would be warmed at the effort. Thanks to David A. and his documentary called Meeting David Wilson, our country is beginning to have genuine dialogue - without argument and confrontation - about slavery, racism, the condition of our education system with regards to these, and the issues that still fuel the white supremacy mindset (and the results of that mindset in the black community).

In November we have the opportunity to elect a president who is mixed - both black and white. Of course, I'm talking about Barack Obama who happens to speak with a similar inspirational style that you practiced while you were with us. He too is hoping for change in our country. People say that Obama is the man who "transcends race," a statement that I find particularly odd because race shouldn't be something to transcend. It is merely something that is. There is no need to be colorblind, rather we must be colorloving. Let's look at color in all of its beauty and ugliness - both black AND white and all the shades in between and beyond.

Anyway, I hope David A. Wilson's documentary finds its way into as many homes and classrooms as possible. It is important and moving. It is another step in the march that you began, Mr. King.



Sincerely,
Ginger

Letters for April 1: April

According to Mrs. Kennedy and the blog-savvy multitude, April is the NabloPoMo for writing letters. All of my April posts are supposed to be in letter form. Back in March, I thought to myself, "Cool!" I was determined to join the fun and allow myself a creative repose away from the stifling business that is my life. And now my reaction is "Damn-it!" I totally forgot.

So, I will now begin writing my posts in letter form and will continue to do this for the rest of April, my hand red from the slapping (for being so forgetful of something I want to do), my fingers and brain determined to play catch-up with the rest of you "on-the ball" April letter writers.

Here goes:

Dear Month of April,

Though I do believe your intentions are semi-noble, you have to know that the weather you invite is like an imposing boyfriend that all of your girlfriends can't stand, one who is constantly breaking the harmony of the day by sending constant text messages and warnings to you, interrupting a girls day out, whilst rudely consuming all of the food in your fridge since he wasn't invited to lunch and is now pissed - sure, it's the food that you can't have anyway because you might have gestational diabetes, but you get the idea. Seriously, there is absolutely no need to spin five freaking tornadoes across the Metroplex, especially in conjunction with straight line winds strong enough to do even more damage than the FIVE twisters. Waking up at three in the morning to sirens and, lets face it, what sounds like the premature guffaw of Armageddon, is neither fun nor awe-inspiring. It simply sucks. And is scary.

And it's not just about two nights ago, April. I remember several years ago when you were this showy and turned airplanes upside down so that they looked like dead birds, their little twig legs belly up. That was the time you made me take to the bottle and hide in the hallway in someone else's home, during which time you made me light a poor little dog on fire (Sorry Bitsy Boo - thank God you're resilient!). But whatever. You drove me to it, April. Or rather your nasty house guest did.

But then again, maybe your squallish friend comes over uninvited. In that case, I apologize for my harsh tone and would like to thank you for the gorgeous flowers and for the promise that sanity and stability, in true summer form, are on the way.

OK then. I have to go and get ready for the day. What should I wear? Something warm or something light?

Oh! (wagging my finger in your direction) You got me again, you tricky vamp!

Ginger

Pregnant Words

Do you ever have so many things to say that your brain breaks down and the cat gets your tongue? I feel that way about writing here sometimes. Sentences feel very heavy to me these days.. almost as heavy as my pregnant body. More so maybe.

But here are a few updates (in short, lighter fragments):

1. Friends Amanda and Pat threw a great party for Jack on Saturday! We are very lucky to have such generous friends and family! Thanks everyone! And thank you especially to those who came from such far places to celebrate the day! You guys are amazing! Jack's community will be very solid, indeed.

2. Work is v. busy at the mo. Lots to grade and study and do. But I can see the end.. I hope I'm ready for it seeing as the end of school is also the beginning of Jack and the reality of having a baby in our lives (though it's been more real to me than to anyone else).

3. Also, I failed a test. A glucose one. And I have to do more testing tomorrow (that icky three hour one). At best, the initial test was wrong. At worst, I have gestational diabetes. At really worst, I have adult onset diabetes. I'm hoping for the best..

These are my surface-y thoughts lately. More to come soon, but for now I'm off to work.

April 4th Salon Topics

All input is welcome!

Discussion topics for April 4:
1. What is the most important technology of our time?
2. Can we acknowledge difference without judging?
3. Bad decisions: should we be held accountable--or not?