Gripe Interrupted

So, I've pretended to be stoic about this school year, so far, in that I have tried NOT to complain about the silly things that "settled" teachers get huffy about - the things that normal people would laugh at - as in, "I'm so angry that the lanyards for the school ID's are silver this year. Every other year, they've been green. Silver isn't even a school color. The world is going to hell and my life is over because the lanyards aren't GREEN! Whoever picked silver lanyards must be an agent of darkness from Satan's lair. I wonder what the Mansfield school district is like. I bet their ID lanyards aren't silver."

I'll be the first to admit that people who have spent any time in my profession (i.e. longer than 3 years)may have shorter fuses than the rest of the population, save the postal service. And probably we drink more and binge eat more than folks in any other profession. And we may or may not have good reason to be cantankerous since our brand of "customer service" is different from any other kind. But I generally work really hard at avoiding that petty sort of pissy attitude. In fact, I'm the girl in the back of the faculty meeting who is laughing hysterically at those who are interrupting the meeting with "serious concerns" about the color of lanyards, which is why I hesitate to share what's coming next.

My patience has been tested. My job is HARD enough without the added constraints of tedious extra paperwork, special accommodations, in school suspension assignments, lunch monitoring, mothering, micromanaging, and everything else extra that we are "expected" to do. This year I do not have my conference periods in my classroom because other teachers have to float into it. That means that I do not have access to my files or to any paperwork that I forget to pack in the 8 minute passing period during which kids are climbing over each other to ask questions/have dialogue with me about grades, personal matters. etc. Forget about having a parent conference during my conference period. I have no place to conference. It's like telling an office executive, "You have to complete all of your tasks every day without the use of files, a phone, a computer, or a quiet workspace."

You're thinking that I could stay after school to accomplish my tasks, but this year there isn't enough parking for teachers who didn't buy spots. I have to move my car 20 minutes after school so that the marching band can practice in the parking lot, otherwise it gets towed.

Are you laughing, yet?

That means I have to leave early on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. I do not have access to my computer except for during what's supposed to be my "duty free" lunch. In the mean time, jobs are not being accomplished and I am in trouble often with people who need my input to complete their tasks.

I am a good teacher and take pride in what I do, which is why it kills me to be mediocre for any reason, let alone because I am displaced and literally haven't figured out how I can accomplish my tasks without being in my classroom with all of my files and computer. My usual list of "things to do" isn't working since I can't get to what I need.

BUT

Today as I was stewing over this dilemma at lunch (the only time, other than the 8 minute passing period or Wednesday or Friday after school, that kids can come to me to discuss something they don't understand), a kid came to talk to me. The conversation went like this:

Lovely Kid: Hi Ms. H. May I get a pass to the library? I want to make sure to have my research done for tomorrow's class.

Me: Wow! That's super responsible! Of course I can write a pass for you!

[LK goes to the library and comes back later]

LK: Thanks for the pass, Mrs. H. And also, I wanted to say that the other day I think I spoke harshly to you when I said that I didn't get an assignment that you handed out to us. I probably did get it, but for the life of me, I can't find it.

Me: You know what? After class, I thought about it and wasn't sure if you did get the assignment since you entered my class later than the others, so I didn't penalize you for it.

LK: Well, whether I got the assignment or not, I should not have back talked you or had any sort of attitude about it, so I just wanted to apologize for that. I was having a really hard day, and, really, there is no excuse to talk to anyone like that. I'm sorry.

Me: (fumbling for words since this NEVER happens and since the incident about which he was speaking barely registered in my memory. plus confrontation is a daily occurrence in teaching, as is daily forgiveness) Ok. Thanks.

LK: I guess I better go eat lunch.

[Bell rings for class to start - too late for him to eat]

LK: Oh well.

Me: (Realizing that this kid doesn't get to eat lunch everyday for various reasons) Hey, do you like Goldfish crackers? I have an extra package of them and an apple. Are you hungry?

LK: (big grin) Thanks!

And that's it. This exchange erased all of the petty gripes I was internalizing today. All of that negative stuff is such shit compared to what teaching is really about! School isn't about assignments or grades or files or workspace or anything else. It's about sharing knowledge and life experiences. Yes, book learning happens in the classroom, but more than that, teaching is about helping kids to build strong personal foundations that they can reley on later when they need to make life changing decisions. Teaching is a service of sharing.

What a LOVELY kid!! I MUST hug his mother for teaching him such amazing manners. Because of kids like him, I think I'll survive the year, whether the lanyards are green or not.