Maybe it's just that I am really working on being positive. Some of the events of last year threw me into a shit-filled rut, and honestly I wallowed in said rut for months at a time. I did my job well enough - meeting the requirements and going through the motions- but I was so concerned with the shit in the rut that even when I reached for a hand-up, it was with a limp arm.
I think sometimes I forget that I have much more control over my emotions than I realize. I mean, most of you know that I struggle with anxiety and depression. I know that those are real chemical imbalances in my brain that I can't "just get over" as some have suggested. But most of the time, I can control my reactions and recognize when what's coming through is not who I want to be and therefore is not who I am. So when things are good and I still feel worthless or like it's directly my fault that the world is far from heaven, I try to recognize what it is that is making me crazy and I can focus on making the irrational more rational by celebrating the positive, little things like a class that isn't ready to go because they're enjoying the assignment. It was one small second of positive, but that one moment filled in part of the rut.
Sometimes celebrating the little things works and sometimes it doesn't, and either way it's a tiring battle. But I think it's worth the effort to have a good day, complete with a warm fuzzy or two.
7 comments:
What a great feeling!! It does always feel great when your students like what are learning!!
Your story was the complete opposite from mine today!! I introduced an activity today that is usually a hit! (They do something similar in 1st grade, which is why it is a favorite, it's familiar) but today they all went AWWW! They were less than thrilled to have to it again!!
Oh well you can't win them all!!
I know sometimes being "positive" takes a lot of work but at the end of the day it's so worth it!!
Glad you had a good day!! You deserve the warm fuzzies
Love you!!
My group just keeps rolling their eyes at me. They do like that I have the computer hooked up to the TV, and I show a lot on that. Guess they think watching ANY TV is better than none at all!
I love reading what's going on in your world. Another high school teacher was telling me today about all the students pregnancies she keeps bumping into.
C'est la vie!
That last comment was me. I think I signed in with my old account. I didn't even remember I had it until I saw "k" instead of my name.
Yea for warm fuzzies! I hope your year is FILLED with them! :)
yay warm and fuzzies - thanks for your honesty!
I'm such a cynic, but maybe not, because I agree with you about the value of the happy moment and how helpful that little glimpse of light can be as a tool against the dark.
It's part of why I like the Mary Oliver poems so much -- I find that kind of happiness in nature quite often. At the end of a long day, I get a bit recharged going out on my back porch (usually with kitten in tow), turning off the porch light, and looking up at the stars. Cheesy? sappy? maybe... but I love that feeling of wonder and being small and how it puts my worries in perspective.
Kitten helps, too. :)
By the way, since you're talking about happy moments, hanging out with you today at the coffee shop was A BIG ONE! :) Thanks for being my friend.
(smile)
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